Friday, April 15, 2011

My Magnificent Mom

Dear Diary,

Today’s entry will be brought to you by the letter ‘M’. My mom is what comes to mind when I think of ‘M’. I miss my mom so much; she passed away when I was twenty. I feel luck to have had her in my life for the short time I did because she was an amazing mom. I also feel like I got gypped because I lost her so soon. I have moments when someone will complain about their mother butting into their life and I wish I had their problems. Other times I’ll hear someone comment on how they have never been close with their mother and I’ll feel sorry for them. Before my mom passed away we were really close and I have a hard time understanding what it’s like to not be close to your mother. My parents divorced when I was in grade school and my mom raised three kids on her own and did a darn good job with the few resources she had.

There is so much I could say about my mom, she was smart and had many witty moments. She loved jokes that were on the corny side and would almost always laugh at puns (as long as they were clean, I never heard her laugh at a dirty joke or pun). She was one of the most patient people I’ve ever met; although being the mother of YS I guess that was kind of a requirement. She made you want to do your best and be your best without threats or intimidation. My friends in high school never really understood why I never went through the rebellious stage that they did until they got to know my mom; somehow you didn’t want her to be disappointed in you. When I made poor choices and it was quite often, my mom never really punished me like my friends got punished. My mom would just look at me (with a look that said she had expected better or me and was disappointed) but would only tell me “I trust you to learn from this, and will make a better choice next time.” How can you rebel against that?

My mom taught me so many things, of course the generic things like cooking, baking, cleaning, finances but she taught me more than that she taught me to be a good person. Not that I’m trying to imply I’m always a good person, anyone who knows me will tell you I’m not. I am a caring, understanding and loving person. I occasionally judge people unfairly but I don’t hold a grudge and I’m forgiving (of others I’m still working on being forgiving of myself). My mom always explained how situations might seem from other perspectives (which I try to remember) this helped me to be less judgmental and more understanding of people who I feel have wronged me in some way.

I miss my mom so much, there are so many things in my life that I have needed her for and wanted to share with her. Times when having her to guide me would have made my struggles more bearable. My mom didn’t have an easy life and I’ve always had an added respect for her because she lived her life with such strength and poise despite the hardships. I remember that strength to help me get through my struggles, I remind myself that the strength is somewhere inside me, because my mother put it there. I love you mom and miss you like you wouldn’t believe.

Until next time,


  1. I'm so sorry you lost her so young, but it's great that you can see the positive mark she made on you. I lost my dad when I was a kid, so I definitely know about that hole. It never goes away, but hopefully the bitter from loss lessens and the sweet from remembering increases.

    (and thank you yesterday for the link for Supernatural!)

  2. I am sorry you lost your mom. But at least you had a great relationship with her.

    My mom and I are not close. Both my parents were verbally abusive, and overly strict. I am not at all close with my parents.

    I learned what not to be as a parent to my own daughter. She and I are VERY close. Everyone who knows us says we are like best friends. I would not trade that for anything in the world. I treasure her above all else.

    All the work, sacrafice I did raising her paid back in more than I ever hoped for. I think we have a very special relationship


  3. Found you through A to Z. Beautiful post.

    I feel for you. I lost my own mother, when I was 14. So I understand the things we miss when our mother is gone--being there with you when you have your first child. The grandmother your children will never know except through photographs. The friend to advise.

  4. Your mom sounds a lot like mine. Like you, I never went through a rebellious phase (unless you count one day in 1992), and I'm the caring, empathetic person I am because of her.

    It's a shame you lost her at an early age, but it's great that you can look back positively on your time together. And, of course, she'll continue to live on through you.

  5. Awww, what a touching article. So genuine. You got so many wonderful gifts from her though. I know people who still have their mothers who never got so much.

  6. I love your letter; I lost my Dad when I was 18yrs old. I am sorry for your loss. I think writing letters like this is important, keep your memories alive-this preserves her memory and remember you are a quilt. There are pieces of you like your Mom. She lives on in you; so make her proud~xXx

  7. Aw... what a heart-touching post. I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my mom a year ago :-(

    I know that writing about our lost loved ones helps with the grieving.