Dear Diary,
The radio station I listen to plays this Katy Perry song called Fireworks ALL the time but some of the lyrics are annoying to me. "After a hurricane comes a rainbow" I hate this line. I might be a cynic here but I think a rainbow is not sufficient consolation for surviving a hurricane and all the destruction it leaves in its wake. It's kind of like saying I will beat you until you wish for death, but afterward I'll show you my dazzling smile. This song is so up-beat and positive and I really like it, that one line just grates. Now I realize look at the bright side and all that, but sometimes the bright side seems like a stretch.
It's not just in this song, but life in general where the negative is disproportionate to the positive you are expected to enjoy. Maybe it’s about perspective, I would have a hard time enjoying a rainbow after a hurricane, because there are people who get to enjoy rainbows after a mild thunderstorm, plus they get lightning which is also pretty cool. In fact the most beautiful, vivid, double rainbow I’ve ever seen was on a day that was warm, mostly sunny with just a little drizzle.
Perhaps the problem is my inability to focus on the good things in my life. I am naturally pessimistic; however it seems like the bad things in life are really big and the good things are tiny. Time for another of my bad analogies (lucky you second one in this entry); imagine you have a scale like the justice scales, on one side you have a tree (just one, like a Christmas tree with no decorations) on the other side you have a handful of sand (in that handful you have thousands of grains of sand). Now I ask you how is that handful of sand supposed to balance the tree. That is how I see life, I know very depressing.
This is where my mind goes every time I hear that one line, the rest of the song is so positive, but I get lost in these depressing thoughts. In my mind I see pictures of areas that have been devastated by a hurricane, houses turned into toothpicks, roads turned into littered rivers and I wonder if the people affected would even notice there was a rainbow. Thousands of people died due to Hurricane Katrina, I wonder if their families would be consoled with a rainbow. Even if it was more beautiful and vivid than the double rainbow I saw on that beautiful afternoon, somehow I doubt it. I know that I would trade NEVER seeing another rainbow for one day with just one loved one who has passed away.
Sometimes I hear songs and I wonder if these people have ever experienced loss or hardship. Alright I think that is enough heavy thoughts for today.
Until Next time,
Me
