Wednesday, July 20, 2011


Dear Diary,

Why is it that I have such a hard time making priorities, my priority? I know what I need to be doing with my time, yet I find that I waste my time on nothing. The whole weekend I barely left my house, not because I was on-line looking for jobs, not because I was re-reading Atlas Shrugged for the scholarship essay I need, not because I was writing blogs or reading blogs. I was watching old movies on YouTube, (did you know you can watch whole movies there?) movies that I've already seen.

I have no control, well obviously I must have some control, I just don't exercise my control muscles enough; in fact they may have atrophied. I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed that my lack of control is found in more places than just my diet. Actually I think I'm leaning toward disgusted. How does one develop self control? How do I make myself do what is good for me or productive instead of what is easy or more appealing? I know that I have a lot of free time with the job situation the way it is, but SO has just as much time and spends it learning new things and being generally productive. I want to be more disciplined but seem to lack the motivation. If anyone has any ideas I'm willing to listen.

Until next time,