Humming bird?

Dear Diary,

Today’s entry will be brought to you by the letter ‘H’. I was ready for another picture post so ‘H’ will be for Humming bird, at least I think it’s a humming bird so that’s what I’m going to call it. I am very sad that I did not have my nicer camera with me when I saw this little guy, so the pictures are not the best but I wanted to share, so here are pictures of what I’m guessing is a type of humming bird, if it’s not and you know what it is please post in the comments and let me know. (if it's not a humming bird this post will be handsome bird)

Until next time,

Me

Games

Dear Diary,

Today’s entry will be brought to you by the letter ‘G’. Gee I had a hard time thinking of a topic for ‘G’ Gullibility? Gluttony? Guns? Gloomy? Grumpy? I figured that after such a heavy topic yesterday I should probably keep it short and light. Maybe something I enjoy, then it hit me games! SO and I are pretty boring people, no clubbing or bar hoping for us. No we spend our evenings watching shows or putzing around the internet. However if we visit friend or have friends over we play games, board games, card games, lawn games, sometimes we even play kid games; I recently played Hi-Ho Cherry-O for the first time. I think the best way to spend time with friends is playing games; you think, laugh, argue and learn things you never knew you didn’t want to know.

Until next time,

Me

PS. what is your favorite game?

Failure

Dear Diary,

Today’s entry will be brought to you by the letter ‘F”. Since I’ve already got a post about flatulence of death, I guess for this challenge ‘F’ will be for failure. Oh did you forget that I’m a bit of a negative person? Well here is your reminder. There are many times when I look at my life and feel like I’m a failure. I’ve failed to obtain my goal education wise. I failed to be there when my mother was sick and dying. I failed to help my older sibling move forward after my mother passed away. I failed to help YS care for my mother when she was at her worst. I have failed to let the past go and start fresh in my relationship with my father. I have failed to find a job in over a year. I have failed in so many things; the failure that hurts the most is when I failed to keep our baby alive. I have failed as a person.

Logically I know that there were many medical problems that prevented our child from surviving but in my heart I feel like I failed, I should have been able to do something. This was not where I intended this diary entry to go. I didn’t think I was ready to talk about this, maybe when I wrote scars it helped me more than I realized. I don’t know but I guess since it came out I’m ready to share a little bit more of the pain I’ve experienced. I guess since it came out in a post about failure you have realized that there are things beyond my control that I internalize as personal failures. The loss of my baby is on the top of that list. Our baby was stillborn and there was nothing I could do, there were numerous serious medical complications with our baby. I think that’s enough for now this was years ago and the pain is still there but we have survived the pain and I guess somehow by surviving I’m not a complete failure. There are things I can’t change, but nothing I can’t learn from. Our baby taught me so much more that I would have thought possible in that short time, I hope that I never fail to remember those lessons.

Until next time,

Me

P.S. Next time wont be so disheartening, I hope.

Exciting and exhilarating

Dear Diary,

Today’s entry will be brought to you by the letter ‘E”. E is for exciting and exhilarating. Adjectives that I wish described me better. My idea of exciting is white water rafting with an experienced guide. My idea of exhilarating is hitting the snooze button an extra time. Not that I think I have to go sky diving or get into confrontations with people who cut me off in traffic to have real excitement. I just wish that every once in a while I had the courage to go out on a limb and do something really exhilarating like hitting the snooze button two extra times, or taking our raft down the rapids without a  hired guide. To do something that will thrill the adventurer who lives inside me and longs to be let out every so often.

Until next time,

Me

Daffodil days

Dear Diary,

Today’s entry is brought to you by the letter ‘D’. D is for daffodils, because they are blooming and I felt like it’s been a while since I posted a picture (so lucky you you get two). I know the last picture I posted was a daffodil, and that’s okay because I’m ready for spring and to me that is what daffodils mean. They are one of the first flowers to bloom and they are bright and cheerful after months of gray. Daffodils are sunshine on cloudy spring days, and I’m not ashamed to admit that this winter has seemed long and I need the joy that bursts from these bright flowers. These pictures are a fun perspective I think and it’s got a happy cloudy blue sky. This picture says spring time to me, I hope you enjoy the daffodils.

Until next time,

Me

Camping

Dear Diary,

Today’s entry is brought to you by the letter ‘C’ is that opening getting old? Good thing there are only 26 letters in the alphabet. My topic or word for the letter C is camping because it is one of my favorite activities. The only negative thing about camping is the actual sleeping part, the hard ground and cold nights. I love hiking or rafting during the day, building a campfire, cooking over a camp fire, the dark sky full of twinkling stars that somehow seem brighter when camping. I love waking up to birds chirping and chipmunks chattering. I love reading until the rest of the world wakes up. I love walking to the bathrooms with flashlights and talking late into the night. Family camping trips are some of my earliest memories from childhood, and some of my happiest memories from high school, and some of my fondest memories of outings with SO. I hope that camping will always be one of my favorite activities.

Until next time,

Me