Today I commented on a blog that I read occasionally when the title sounds interesting. The comment that I made was to my mind simply a different perspective, but the blog author took great offense to the comment. To start with I did post anonymously, not because I was trying to hide who I was but because it was easier. I will admit that if a person writes a negative comment and does so anonymously it comes across as cowardly, but I do not feel my comment was negative. To my way of viewing it my comment was actually more positive than the other comments. Once she questioned the anonymity I replied explaining that I meant no offense and leaving my name.
The blog was about a woman who was taking a celibacy break to regroup from (her words) "the parade of douches in my life". The post I read today was titled "Celibacy Fail" sounds interesting right, and it was. Her post came down to the fact that she had meet a guy and was now dating him, because he seems nice. My comment was " Reality check, they all seem nice until they seem douchey. Maybe the reason you seem to meet douchey guys is because you feel they are worth breaking a commitment to yourself, if he really is a great guy not only will he honor your commitment to yourself but he will be supportive and encouraging of said commitment." What I don't understand is what there is to take offense to in this comment. Isn't that like taking offense to someone saying you deserve to be respected?
The point of my entry has little to do with what her post was about or even what my comment said. My post is why does every comment have to be placating the writer of the blog? Every other comment was placating, I went through some of this blogger's older posts and guess what every comment this blogger has gotten (that I read) is placating, it's not sharing of other insights or perspectives, it's mostly patting this lady on the back for everyday stuff or telling her that they agree with everything she said.
I wondered if other blogs were like this so I headed over to some of my favorites which you can find on the right side panel. Not really, most comments are positive, (but I feel that my comment was positive, just not what the blogger wanted to hear) but they share personal experiences that are related, or give additional info. Maybe the point of this blogger's blog is to have people tell her how wonderful she is, if that's the case I have to wonder about her self-esteem, and how her regular readers know this. Maybe I don't understand because I don't really write to amuse the masses. My writing serves a cathartic purpose, If others read it and can help me figure things out, point me in another direction, or just give me a different perspective for my random thoughts and entries then all the better.
I do not want people telling me they agree with everything I have to say, I want their insights. I want something that can help me to better my understanding of the topics I write about. I would love if someone were to read this and be able to tell me what was offensive about my comment to the other blogger, shed some light on it so I can see it in the same way as the blogger whom I inadvertently offended. Moral of the story if you read my blog do not feel the need to placate me, do feel the need to give it some thought and share your perspective.
So do you think most bloggers want to be placated? I'll have to think so more on this.
Until next time,