Sunday, June 12, 2011

Off days

Dear diary,

I hate when I have off days. When I feel irritated and grumpy for no apparent reason. Today is one of those days. I woke up in a normal state of mind (which for me is always a little tipped toward pessimistic, but not overly negative). SO made pancakes with fresh strawberries on top while I stayed in bed reading. I got up and had breakfast with SO and then we watched some TV shows on Netflix. Then we each spent time doing our own thing and had a salad for lunch. So far it sounds like a pleasant lazy Sunday right? Kind of, it has been but there is also this raging bubble of fury in-side me today and I don't know why. I have kept it under control and I have done an amazing job of not chewing SO's head off for putting too many tomatoes in my salad, or messing with my box of project stuff (all really minor infractions that normally I would barely notice, but today set the rage bubbling). I hate the feel of the rage bubble, sometimes I feel like if I just let it out I will feel better, but I have learned this is not the case. In fact I let it out and inevitably the person who the bubble of fury hits, will say something in their defense, which only leads to a bigger raging bubble of fiery fury taking the place of the bubble that was released.

What I need is a way to make a slow leak in the bubble like when you pinch a balloon and poke a hole so the air releases slowly instead of popping. Sometimes getting out of the house and away from people helps but other times like today the thought of leaving the house expands the bubble just a little more. It would be easier to deal with if I knew what put the raging  bubble of fury inside me in the first place, but I had a wonderful morning and SO has been more than accommodating to my grumpiness. YS sent a text asking what I was up to; which I ignored because dealing with YS is the quickest way to increase the bubbles and the fury. I have to say that the bubble has become less raging since the beginning of the post, maybe writing is the answer. It's still there but it's smaller and tamer, although I still feel off, like anything can trigger the raging bubble of fury to expand and explode, but the pressure from the bubble is receding. Maybe I'll just take my book and hide myself away somewhere until the slow leak can eliminate the bubble.

Does anyone else ever have days of inexplicable inscrutableness and anger? What do you do to calm your inner fury?

Until next time,


  1. I am having one of those days today. Believe it or not, I watch 7th Heaven videos to help ease my fury...... I also pray and I talk on Facebook. A good book is also a good escape. It just depends on how badly the fury is... I hope you will feel peace in the latter days.

  2. Keena - I am back to normal, I turned my phone off and buried myself in a book, after writing the post and reading for a couple hours I was able to force myself outside for some fresh air which helped a lot. After a short walk I came home had dinner and went to bed early woke up the next morning ready to face the day. Thanks for your support.