Grammar Tyrants

Dear Diary,

I have found a draw back to making this diary public; there are topics I’m afraid to address. However, I have made a commitment to myself to use this public forum as a diary. Looks like I have also found a benefit to having a small following. Here I begin my attempt to break out of my comfort zone. The topic that I am currently apprehensive to address is my take on spelling and grammar. I am admittedly terrible at spelling and part lazy part ignorant when it comes to grammar. I am pretty good with using the right words in the right places, but punctuation leaves me scratching my head. Why do we need a comma, semi-colon, and a colon? 

That last sentence is why I didn’t want to address this topic, because now someone will feel obliged to tell me why. Not to mention make them read my diary entries with a more critical eye.  I guess I appreciate that. The problem is I’ve been taught before, it just doesn’t stick. Maybe I’m just not a detail oriented person or maybe I don’t care enough. Either way sometimes I misuse or omit punctuation; anyone who has read past posts already knows this. To clear up any potential misconceptions here, if you see a spelling or grammar error feel free to tell me. Maybe with enough repetition it will sink in. Hey you never know.

So now that I have admitted my short comings with regards to the English language (I have many more with other languages). The point I want to get to is my feelings regarding grammar tyrants. To be blunt I feel like grammar tyrants need to get over themselves and start listening to the thoughts and ideas expressed and just let the punctuation and misused words go. I see so many comments to thoughtful posts and articles picked apart by grammar tyrants, is that really necessary? I understand that grammar might be one of your strengths but that doesn’t make your ideas more valid. I have heard the argument that it confuses the reader; do you really want to claim this? (If someone writes “Regardless of weather the child dressed her age or not, rape is rape.” instead of “Regardless of whether the child dressed her age or not, rape is rape.”  with your intellectual powers you cannot determine that, this comment has nothing to do with the temperature outside?) If that is the case, if you honestly thought that comment had something to do with state of the atmosphere, you have my sympathy and may continue to post remarks about grammar.

If you did understand that the person used the wrong word for whatever reason, then listen to the message. Grammar tyrants go on and on about what the abundance of grammatical errors means for our future.  I wonder what it means when people spend so much time looking for errors that they miss the message. I wonder what it means when people are quick to submit corrections rather than provide constructive solutions. We understand that you are smart and want the rest of the world to acknowledge it, and we do we admire your sentences with nothing left dangling. There are many people who do not have the education to match your grammar abilities, but life has taught them many things that are worth listening to. So please put down your red pens and listen to the intended meaning. I’m sure that I have given you many opportunities to use your red pen here. If you must employ your red pen of power do it here where nothing much is being said.

Until next time,

Me

Roommates can be friends, but friends should never be roommates

Dear Diary,

I have wanted to write about this for a while, but I'm having a hard time articulating exactly what I'm feeling and experiencing. I have a feeling this is going to be a rambling post with thought tangents branching out in all directions, but we will see. The topic that I'm going to attempt to tackle is how living with BB has changed our friendship, my views of BB and my views of myself.

The most general way to put this is that by living with BB I have somehow lost my best buddy. BB will always be one of my closest pals, but there is an element that died when we became roommates. First off being around someone all the time is quite different than hanging out with someone (generally during good times) then going home to different locations. When you are hanging out you naturally interact the whole time, because you will have your quiet alone time latter, but when you live with someone it's hard to know when the other person is enjoying quiet alone time and you will be intruding and when they would welcome an interruption. Also when I am moving from one location to another location and I pass BB, there is an awkwardness. I feel I have to acknowledge BB or seem rude, but at the same time I was on my way to do something and don't want to get involved in a conversation right then.

Mostly I miss the open communication that is natural between best buddies. Normally when a roommate does something to annoy you but it's not something you feel is confrontation worthy, you rant about it to your best buddy and they have your back, even when it's something stupid like not rinsing out the dishrag after using it. If your best buddy is your roommate, where do you turn? When you and your significant other have a disagreement, you hash it out with your best buddy. If you live with your significant other and your best buddy that puts your best buddy in an awkward situation because they have to live with your significant other too.

I have learned a lot about BB that is hard to reconcile with the person I knew before, or thought I knew. For the longest time I was under the impression that BB was much smarter than I was, but living together I have learned that BB is trivia fact smart. I guess I was under the impression that because BB was the first to speak up and replied with confidence BB must be correct, even if I was thinking something else was correct. Previous to our living together, I was under the impression that BB's stories were closer to the actual event, rather than as embellished as I see they are. I have learned that BB struggles with self esteem when before I was under the impression that BB was confident and unfazed by the remarks of others.

I have learned that I am a stronger person than I believed. I have realized that by comparing myself to how I perceived other people was not fair to me and was skewing my self perception, because no matter how it seems everyone has their own struggles. I have learned that I judge those I care about harsher than I judge strangers. I hold the people I care about to standards that are sometimes unrealistic for who they are. I am now aware that I need to work on acceptance and understanding of my loved ones. I understand that even your best buddy wants you to see them in the best light possible and hide their flaws. My eyes have been opened to the fact that no matter how annoying BB is, no matter how embellished BB's stories are, no matter how many times BB takes credit for my thoughts or insights, no matter how much I secretly cuss BB; I will always be there for BB and I will always care about BB. I only hope that when we are no longer roommates we can renew our friendship to what it was before.

Until next time,
Me